The tragic beauty of adoption

Sometime throughout the process of us adopting, I heard an online sermon called "The tragic beauty of adoption."  I'm thankful for this sermon because as an adoptive parent, it forces you to connect with both sides of adoption...and I'll be honest, the tragic part of adoption, I believe it's missing in many areas of adoption preparation...

In order for a child to be adopted or orphaned it means that something sad/awful/sad/horrible/sad/reality had to have happened to that child beforehand.

one or both parents had to have died. 
one or both parents are dying of disease or malnutrition.
one or both parents abandon a child in a toilet, a ditch, a corner in an abandoned house, a fire station, a church, a school, a street corner under a light. 
The child is a product of an affair, and therefore must be given up.
one parent is abusive. The other parent is lame. 
one parent is in prison, while the other is prostituting in order to pay bills. 
one is just simply a prostitute. 
one parent has favor over the other kids, and this one isn't worthy to still be in the family. 
one parent makes the child sleep out, among the slop. 
Boys are favored over girls. 
Girls are favored over boys. 
Drugs took over the mother while pregnant...Child is now paying for the mom's bad choices the rest of it's life. 
The state terminates the rights of the parents because they are just not fit to parent a child because of poor choices. 
One or both parents just simply does not want the child. 
This list could go on and on. I'll stop there because it can get way depressing, huh?

In order for an orphan to have a family, a tragedy had to occur first. It's inevitable. It's a fact. All of those examples above, are real examples of kids or friends that we know. One of them is our son's story. 

It's so easy for people to get caught up in the "goodness" of bringing a child into your family. You hear things like 
-That child is so lucky! (This makes me cringe)
-You are doing a great thing. 
-Wow, I could never do that! I'm so glad someone is. 
But what often isn't discussed is the background as to why that child needed a family...Don't get me wrong. I ABSOLUTELY think that a child's story is their private information to be told to them by their parents at an age appropriate time...

I'm just saying that adoption isn't all glorious. Most people just see the end result..Child in family. Done deal. A lot of pain, hurt and confusion happens in that child's life. Before they are adopted (yes even as teeny tiny babies) or as a child, or teenager. It will always be a part of their life. The beauty is that a child is in a family. The tragic part is that the family is option #2 for them. (or in some kids cases, option #3,4 or 5)

The day we got the referral for Kellen, I was bouncing off the walls with excitement about to see my son's face for the first time. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw his face and read his papers...Read the story of the "why" he was being referred to our family. The "why" isn't beautiful. The "why" sucks. The "why" is pain and suffering. The "why" will be asked to us as he gets older. He is not treated as an orphan in our family. He is treated as our son, a pesky little brother and a little boy. On some things we parent him the same. On others, he needed a different type of TLC. That is up to us to figure out along the way. We have made mistakes. We will continue to make mistakes with all our kids. 

Isn't this like our own life and what the Lord did for us on the cross?

Sin=tragedy
Death on the cross = Grace=beauty. Adopted into the Kingdom. 
I'm glad the Lord hasn't given up on me. And that He won't. I'm glad He gives me the wisdom and strength to be open to understanding more about the messy part of adoption. I want to live in the messy. Because in the mess is where we learn, where we grow, where we experience Grace that we don't deserve.