But yes..the dreaded day was here. It was a mixture of emotions as Adam and I missed our girls terribly and were ready to get home to them, but also knowing that we were leaving our son there was so hard. Regardless of the emotions of what I spoke about from yesterday, it was such a good trip. We were so blessed to have my mom come with us and to experience everything with us. For the most part, we all remained healthy. We'd been kept safe, we were treated with the best hospitality and given many opportunities to see and experience our sons history and culture. We are so proud of where he is from and will make sure he has every opportunity to learn about his birthplace! We are so thankful for the adoption agency and their staff in country. All of them. So professional, honest, and have a heart to see these kids in families too. The all have pretty amazing stories themselves!
After breakfast I went over to his room and picked him up and brought him up to our room while we began the daunting process of packing. He wasn't much help to us because we didn't care about packing...we just wanted to play with him. Oh well. It was our last day and it had to get done! We were so blessed to be able to spend as much time with him as we got to on this trip. Throughout the day I found myself tearing up randomly. If I was already like this, how was I going to be saying goodbye?! We were able to get some great pictures with him and some wonderful video of him that I think he'll appreciate one day. And it was also good to capture all of our trip to be able to show the girls when we got home.
Bottom line....saying goodbye to him was by far one of the HARDEST things Adam and I have EVER had to do. It was awful. Those heartstrings that you get when you become a parent were being tugged on left and right. I was pretty weepy all day. I sang to him the same song I sing to the girls at nighttime. Adam and I layed hands on him and prayed over him. We rocked him back and forth. We took turns snuggling with him, kissing him, tickling him, and just loving on him. He has the sweetest giggle! Oh man. Our son is in Ethiopia and we are here.
We are a family separated by many miles of land and ocean. By paperwork. By wait times. We are ready for him to be home. We reacted with sobs as we handed him over to the nanny. The whole "try and hold it together and don't let them see you cry" FORGET ABOUT IT! Not possible!! They were the same sobs as if we were leaving our daughters for an unknown amount of time. They aren't sobs of fear. I know he is safe. We pray for him daily. He has WONDERFUL nannies taking care of him. And for them, we will always be so grateful for meeting his basic needs. (they need much more credit by the way! ) After we handed him back to the nanny, we started to walk to the van to go....we just stopped in the courtyard and held onto each other and cried big ugly tears. It sucked.
We have to remember God's promises. "I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you." "He sets the lonely in families." God's hand has been on this adoption from the very beginning. It still is. He is protecting him. He is providing for him. He is comforting our hearts while we are away. He knows the exact day when we get to go back and bring him home. He knows when we will get our Embassy date. (soon...pretty please!)
Until then we continue to trust, obey and wait on the Lord.
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